Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
