im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
