I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
