you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
