i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Pants are for mortals
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
