Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize