Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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