I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
