I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
