Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize