Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
