It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
