i permit you to call me
Please, let me fuck your mom
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
