3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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