East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
