please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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