there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Randomize
