I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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