my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO