we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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