im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I want to be your penis for a week.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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