We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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