That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
