I wannas sexs uuuuu
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
