he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Randomize
