Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
