I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
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