my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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