i was rollin on her like bob the builder
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
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