like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
