he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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