I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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