but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
