it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
