I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
