omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
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