He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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