i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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