well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
