She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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