Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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