If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Randomize
