I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
