i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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