just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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