did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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