I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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