if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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