shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
