so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize