i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
