Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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