My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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