need another drink. this is the easiest way
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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