Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
