I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
