Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
