so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
