So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
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