you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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