Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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