Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
