whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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