i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Randomize
