just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
